Surviving L.A. - takes good news reporting

"No News is Good News"

That phrase takes on a new meaning for me after having lived in L.A. for more than 4 years. Trying to keep up with the important things affecting our lives - Health Care Reform, state and federal elections, the Arab Spring - are really hard here when Charlie Sheen just won't behave, Kobe Bryant's ex-wife is only getting three mansions in the divorce settlement and the porn industry is threatening to pull out of Southern California. I have found that in L.A. No news outlet is good news reporting.

Now, I understand I live in the entertainment capital of the world and therefore "the Industry" will dominate the local news since the majority of the people here make their livelihoods directly or tangentially from it. That does not mean I need the evening news to report who got voted off Dancing with the Stars. It's often hard to tell the difference between the 5 o'clock news and TMZ, or the Los Angeles Times and People magazine. But, clearly, there are people here who do think Jennifer Anniston's every move is fascinating...and their not stalkers, just subscribers.

Avoiding entertainment news in most cities is as easy as tossing that section of the Sunday paper in the recycling bin. In L.A. it is pervasive....even beyond the legal pages discussing Lindsay Lohan's latest court appearance. The Sports section includes non-athlete celebrity activities at sporting events. The Home Listings page has special spotlights on celebrity homes for sale. Currently, if you are in the market, Paula Abdul's Sherman Oaks home is on the market for $1.899 million, Ryan Reynolds is selling the home he bought with Scarlette Johansson, and a house once leased by Brittany Spears is ready for new occupants as well. Paparazzi do not convey.

Now, the news media is only giving the public what they demand, right? So what does it say about my fellow SoCal inhabitants that the Most Viewed news story on the L.A. Times website in November was "The best wine to serve with Thanksgiving Turkey"?

But there is a news story that finally, after 4 years, gives me cause to write this particular installment of surviving L.A. The news first broke back in November: a rock is making its way toward L.A.

The viewers are rapt. Was the movie Armegeddon really a prophecy coming true? Could Bruce Willis come to our rescue yet again? (Oh wait, he died in the first movie.) What can we do? The media keeps us glued to the TV daily following the trajectory and the timeline....which is turns out is very slow.

And the only danger we are in is being offended by another's taste in art.

Today's update from the L.A. Times - because I can't make this stuff up:
"Sunday night marked the fifth night of travel for the Los Angeles County Museum of Art’s “big rock,” as it’s been dubbed. The 340-ton, near-two story high granite boulder, now well on its way to the museum to become the focal point of artist Michael Heizer’s landmark sculpture “Levitated Mass,” is now a seasoned veteran of the SoCal roads."

And it's critical that you know: "It was given the night off Saturday, but continued its trek Sunday night."

Tantalized? Check out the websites for our local TV stations. You can see the live reports from the rock's location. The L.A. Times has a route tracker. Because traffic here isn't bad enough. http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-heizer-rock-map-20111123-i,0,5739628.htmlstory

So I ask you - nay, beg you - to send me news of the outside world. Because if there is an actual asteroid headed for earth, I'd like to know. It's the only way we will continue to Survive L.A.