Ahhh....the end of the year...the decade to some...and it always seems to bring out the need for reflection among resolutionists, pundits and network anchors. So I was inspired to get a little reflective myself, and came to a conclusion: those who said "give it two years and you'll love it here" were wrong. There are some things I still just can't get used to.
So for 2010 I give you:
Surviving L.A. - The top 15 signs you’ve been in L.A. too long:
15. Crime scene tape causes excitment because you might see Laurence Fishburne.
14. It doesn't phase you to sit in traffic for 9 hours from Vegas to Los Angeles, even though it's less than 300 miles.
13. You know you can valet your car anywhere, including church or the hospital, in case your in that much of a hurry.
12. Palms trees decorated with Christmas lights and ice skating in Santa Monica seems perfectly normal.
11. You know which episode of Miami Medical caused an actor to legitimately ask “is there a REAL doctor in the house?”
10. You’re tracking the Korean Taco Truck and the Cupcake-Mobile on twitter.
9. There’s an appetizer of bacon on the menu – 6 slabs for $10. And you buy it.
8. You know that ‘going to the races’ could mean horses….or turtles.
7. You know the difference between working ‘in the industry’ in Los Angeles and working ‘in the industry’ in The Valley, and you DON’T confuse the two.
6. When you see two men run across an intersection, dive into the windows of a truck and start fighting with the inhabitants….and you immediately look for the cameras and wonder what movie is filming.
5. You’re watching Survivor on television at the same moment one of the contestants appears in your doorway.
4. You know where you can get your hands on a WWII sub.
3. You know someone who won tickets to the Michael Jackson funeral.
2. You’re pissed you didn’t win.
1. While driving down the road you say “that’s weird” and the driver thinks you are referring to the ‘sold’ sign on a home, completely ignoring the 70-something, white as a sheet man in yellow Bruce Jenner running shorts and black dress socks and shoes taking his Sunday constitutional.
Wishing you 15 signs for a very happy 2010.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
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