Surviving L.A. - Takes Star Sightings

And sometimes, that's like shooting fish in a barrel. At least when Paley Fest is happening.

William Paley was the creator of CBS Network, and left a historical legacy in this town in the form of a TV museum and an annual event inviting program fans to spend an evening getting some behind the scenes information from their favorite cast members and creative talent behind the show. In a special Monday edition of Date Night, I surprised Richard with an intimate evening with the cast of one of his favorite shows: Two and a Half Men.

The evening opened with an introduction of the show's creator - the same genius behind Two Broke Girls and Big Bang Theory - Chuck Lorre. In his introduction the moderator, L.A. chief for TV guide Magazine (aka, L.A.'s Bible) Mike Schneider, showed a cover that featured Lorre when he was inducted into the TV hall of fame. Lorre blushed like a starlette showing up on the red carpet wearing the same dress as Jennifer Lopez....he was wearing the same outfit as he had on in the picture. Clearly, the man needs more money for clothes.

Lorre introduced a screening of next Monday's episode, which has an ending that....as soon as you see it coming....will make you forget all about what's-his-name Sheen and realize the writer's have too.

After the audience stopped cringing at the final scene and remembered to clap, the moderator introduced the cast - pretty much everyone. Paley Fest tickets come with the disclaimer that they make no guarantees about any individual's participation, but the cast seems genuinely thankful that so many fans stuck with it through what most people in and outside of L.A. saw as the show's untimely death at the hands of an out-of-control leading man. So in addition to Lorre, we were graced with the presence of Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, Angus T. Jones, Holland Taylor, Conchata Ferrell and co-creator Lee Aronson.

For more than an hour the panel discussed the show with questions from the modertor and the audience on everything from character growth to returning guest stars to Jake finally graduating high school to Ashton's prosthetic penis.

We got a small sneak peek or two to some upcoming features, but no big spoliers as the show has not technically been picked up for next season. Paley Fest is a highly entertaining, behind-the-scenes look into the people who entertain us. If you are ever in L.A. in the spring, I highly recommend it.

Now, I will not close without quoting Aston when he pleaded last night "please give some context to the penis." If you watch the show you know that the Walden character is known for being well-endowed and fond of, or at least not shy about, going au naturale. However, the show is taped in front of a live audience and one is not allowed to do full nudity in that setting. Ashton mentioned - to the apparent shock of his co-stars - that he had just the thing to take care of this problem, a prosthetic. Why exactly someone can wear a prosthic fallic device but not prance in the nude is beyond me, but this appears to be the case. So, for the pleasure of the live audience, Ashton donned the device and gave new meaning to Two and a Half Men.

I will leave you, dear readers, with questions to ponder. What college degree qualifies one to create or fix a prosthetic penis (it apparently needed to undergo some delicate repairs), and are you ready to make a move to this career field? Never mind asking the question as to why Ashton had one conveniently in his car to begin with.

We continue to survive L.A. - highly entertained.

Surviving L.A. - takes good news reporting

"No News is Good News"

That phrase takes on a new meaning for me after having lived in L.A. for more than 4 years. Trying to keep up with the important things affecting our lives - Health Care Reform, state and federal elections, the Arab Spring - are really hard here when Charlie Sheen just won't behave, Kobe Bryant's ex-wife is only getting three mansions in the divorce settlement and the porn industry is threatening to pull out of Southern California. I have found that in L.A. No news outlet is good news reporting.

Now, I understand I live in the entertainment capital of the world and therefore "the Industry" will dominate the local news since the majority of the people here make their livelihoods directly or tangentially from it. That does not mean I need the evening news to report who got voted off Dancing with the Stars. It's often hard to tell the difference between the 5 o'clock news and TMZ, or the Los Angeles Times and People magazine. But, clearly, there are people here who do think Jennifer Anniston's every move is fascinating...and their not stalkers, just subscribers.

Avoiding entertainment news in most cities is as easy as tossing that section of the Sunday paper in the recycling bin. In L.A. it is pervasive....even beyond the legal pages discussing Lindsay Lohan's latest court appearance. The Sports section includes non-athlete celebrity activities at sporting events. The Home Listings page has special spotlights on celebrity homes for sale. Currently, if you are in the market, Paula Abdul's Sherman Oaks home is on the market for $1.899 million, Ryan Reynolds is selling the home he bought with Scarlette Johansson, and a house once leased by Brittany Spears is ready for new occupants as well. Paparazzi do not convey.

Now, the news media is only giving the public what they demand, right? So what does it say about my fellow SoCal inhabitants that the Most Viewed news story on the L.A. Times website in November was "The best wine to serve with Thanksgiving Turkey"?

But there is a news story that finally, after 4 years, gives me cause to write this particular installment of surviving L.A. The news first broke back in November: a rock is making its way toward L.A.

The viewers are rapt. Was the movie Armegeddon really a prophecy coming true? Could Bruce Willis come to our rescue yet again? (Oh wait, he died in the first movie.) What can we do? The media keeps us glued to the TV daily following the trajectory and the timeline....which is turns out is very slow.

And the only danger we are in is being offended by another's taste in art.

Today's update from the L.A. Times - because I can't make this stuff up:
"Sunday night marked the fifth night of travel for the Los Angeles County Museum of Art’s “big rock,” as it’s been dubbed. The 340-ton, near-two story high granite boulder, now well on its way to the museum to become the focal point of artist Michael Heizer’s landmark sculpture “Levitated Mass,” is now a seasoned veteran of the SoCal roads."

And it's critical that you know: "It was given the night off Saturday, but continued its trek Sunday night."

Tantalized? Check out the websites for our local TV stations. You can see the live reports from the rock's location. The L.A. Times has a route tracker. Because traffic here isn't bad enough. http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-heizer-rock-map-20111123-i,0,5739628.htmlstory

So I ask you - nay, beg you - to send me news of the outside world. Because if there is an actual asteroid headed for earth, I'd like to know. It's the only way we will continue to Survive L.A.