Surviving L.A. - Takes Star Sightings

A little background: Richard got a job offer almost 18 months ago that was a brilliant career move on his part but that caused us to do something we said we never would - move to Los Angeles, CA.

Since we departed our wonderful east coast lifestyle, we've been trying to figure out how to adjust to the West Coast mentality. We're surviving......

One question we get constantly about living in L.A. is whether or not we have spotted any stars. At first, our skills were not up to snuff. During the recruitment weekend we were sitting at breakfast when a friend told us we were about to get our first star sighting walking through the door to the restaurant. A group walked in the door and Richard and I rapidedly examined the faces before they were shown into a back room. We had to ask who the famous person was. We were told we had just seen Damian Lewis of Band of Brothers and Life fame.

Our second brush with fame occured at Universal Studios when we spied a group of people clamoring to take pictures with a young girl. We snapped a picture too, and then had to ask everyone we knew who in the heck it was. Not until we showed the picture to our 8-year-old neice did we get an answer to the mystery star....known to Disney-Network fans everywhere, but not to us.

Eventually, we saw throngs of stars, but that was at Laker's games where, frankly, seeing stars is like shooting fish in a barrel. Yeah, Richard had to excuse himself to use the restroom past Jerry Van Dyke (of Coach fame), but that hardly counts as an authentic run-in with the daily, everyday lives of the rich and famous.

But when a friend recently visited, even SHE got a star sighting: Archie Kao (aka Archie on CSI) was also in the airport when she was leaving.

So we thought maybe going to the airport was a good place.....

It started on a recent red eye to Orlando. We were seated in the front row near the door coming on, and after it seemed all the passengers had on-loaded there appeared a lime-green jacket at the door, accompanied by a security guard. Ms. Paula Abdul (and, um, boyfriend?) were escorted onto the plane. She was apparently headed to Orlando for the opening of the Idol Experience at Hollywood Studios Orlando. We were admittedly surprised she was on a commercial red-eye flight, but she must have had a stylist and make-up artist in her bag (or perhaps the boyfriend?) because the next morning when I felt - and probably looked - like death warmed over, she walked through the terminal in Orlando looking just like she had looked walking on to the plane in L.A....where, although he was seated, she came about eye-to-eye with Richard. As he describes the encounter by holding his hand up to his chest, "She's tiny!"

Our prowess at spotting stars has improved.....which was useful last night in Hollywood. We headed out to a night with friend's at the Hollywood Improv. We had gone to see Iliza Shlesinger do some stand-up comedy. SHE is a funny woman, but we paid to see her so we don't count that as an official sighting.

The evening started with dinner at 8oz., a burger bar we will be eating at a lot now that Richard has discovered it as the one place outside Iowa that serves fried cheddar cheese balls.

Richard returned from a trip to the bathroom to report that a booth in the back of the restaurant held someone, someone he knew he ought to recognize. When the rest of our group got there we all sneeked peeks and figured out it was James Spader (currently of Boston Legal, formerly of Stargate, Bad Influence and - showing my age - Pretty in Pink fame.)

Dinner, BTW, was fabulous.

We walked to the Improv and sat at the bar waiting for our show and listening to our friends - long time Los Angelians - share their stories of other brushes with fame. (Apparently, 8oz is also an accasional haunt of Mylie Cyrus.)

Richard and our friend Todd returned from the bathroom exchanging questions of "did you see who that was"? Jim Gaffigan, who is a stand-up commedian and actor, was apparently at the urinal, providing proof to the age-old question: yes, we do all pull up our pants the same way. He then came into the bar area, where the rest of us could see him. Later, hemjumped in and did a set on stage, one of the funnier of the night. The man is obsessed with bacon.

Another member of our party then spotted one of her favorite actors in the waiting area - Craig Robinson (aka Darryl Philibin from The Office). We were waiting for other fans to give him space and were fully prepared to buy him a drink as soon as they one in his hand was empty, but before he finished he was escorted into a private VIP area. I guess even someone who works on a sitcom needs some comedy in their life.

One of the other performers for the night (unknown to us at the time of ticket purchase) was Doug Benson, stand up comedian and subject of the documentary Super High Me. He gave a very funny set as well.

So there you have it, an update to the oft-asked question - yes, we have spotted a few famous people. No papparazzi or body guards or scandalous moments, just another night of good food and good entertainment in Los Angeles, CA.

And it helps us survive L.A. - under the stars that really matter...the ones in the night sky.

Surviving L.A. - Takes Deception

L.A. has a reputation for being 'fake' - fake boobs, fake personalities, fake stunt people, fake houses for TV sets, fake lipsyncing....

You have no idea just how well deserved it is. The Grammy's air this Sunday and you have to ask yourself as you watch...is it fake or is it real? And no, I'm not talking about Pamela's Boobs or Angie's lips or Mariah's latest marriage. I'm talking about the celebrities in the audience. Is that really Will Smith, or just the back of a head with big ears? Is that Pink or someone else with a dye job? Look closely....is that what Britney was wearing on the way in....or did they find someone else at the asylum with an affinity for Clorox? Do that many people really pack an auditorium to hear about the latest

It might be me.

Check out www.seatfillersandmore.com and you too can fill in the crowd at an awards show. (They need asses in seats for all....Grammy's, Emmy's, Oscar's, Country Musis, SAG, Critic's Choice, Art Director's Guild, People's Choice, ESPYs, Darwin, Award for the best Award....) Perish the thought of an empty seat during a camera pan of the crowd. You can fill out applications for the seats inside or the Red Carpet. Send in a head shot, because L.A. does, afterall, have a reputation to uphold. You must look good and you must plan to dress accordingly. You might even have a clothing and hair allowance....if....

....if you have the fortune of looking like Jennifer Aniston or Halle Barry or the misfortune of bearing a resemblence to the Olsen Twins or Courtney Love, you can cash in. Because if Fergie has to go to the bathroom during the award for Best Zydeco Music Album (look it up....I'm not making this stuff up! I don't have to...I live in L.A.!) , then you could actually get paid to make sure that her seat is not empty during a critical moment when the crowd goes wild for the Pine Leaf Boys (a perennial favorite! This could be their year!).

So as you're taking in the awards show this Sunday, be sure to look closely so you are not one of the thousands in America duped by an imposter. Demand real cleavage on Shania Twain. Demand that the fedora is on Justin Timberlake's head. Demand J-Los ass. Ask yourself....are those really Steven Tyler's lips?

We are not deceived. We are surviving L.A. - by heading for a restaurant. We have discovered that the "can't get a reservation" restaurants are empty during awards shows....they are THE place to see and be seen. (Or at least get a stellar meal.)