Surviving L.A. - Takes A Great Escape

In order to truly survive L.A., one must escape it from time to time. Fortunately, California offers so many amazing options. Wine country, San Diego, the Pacific Coast Highway, Death Valley, Palm Springs, Monterrey, Fresno, San.....wait....Fresno?

My knowledge of Fresno was that the town lent itself as the title and setting to a 1986 mini-series parody of prime time soap operas. Fresno starred Carol Burnett and Charles Grodin (among many others) as the first family of raisins. Being the 'pit' of such jokes, I could not imagine what our interest in actually going there would be.

"Oh my God, you can get the best food in Fresno." This is the rationale for any trip there from our friends George and Leah. I really, truly thought they were joking when they said if we EVER wanted to go up there, they would be up for a road trip just to eat there again. Really, Fresno?

Richard was even more skeptical than I, considering he goes to Fresno every week; it is the town near the POM Wonderful plant in Del Rey, where the POM Wonderful-ness happens. However, his steady diet of pizza, burgers and tex mex had really only taken him as far as Me-N-Eds and Taco Bell.

Then, like an angel's voice carried on the wind breaking through the heavy L.A. smog, I heard the secret: Bacon Fried Rice.

Apparently this brilliant concoction is served at a Japanese steakhouse in Fresno and it's enough to lure any person back. Okay I was sold, when were we going?

We went when escaping L.A. was even more imperative -- when the wild fires were occuring in Sepulveda Pass. Unfortunately for us, we needed to drive through Sepulveda Pass to get to points north, and the promise land, Fresno, where one can find the to-die-for fried rice. Ah, but Richard is never without the latest gadget, and we have GPS navigation systems...we can get around this! So, apparently, so can the 2,746 other cars on the road, which clogged up the one mountain road we could find to circumvent the fires. The 3-hour car ride became 6, and our first culinary experience of the trip was a Wendy's.

When driving into Fresno you can't help but understand the inspiration for the mid-80s Falcon's Crest spoof. Contrasting the black gold barons on Dallas are the royalty of breakfast cereal compliments, those tasty black nuggets of sweetness making bran worth eating. While not quite as bad as sausage, raisins share something in common with the meat product....you might not want to see them being made. No need for a tour, the rudimentary process for 'making' raisins is laying them on butcher block-type paper in the sun, right along the roadway. Pull your car over and take a look, but please don't idle, it's hard enough to think about all the exhaust spewed over the yummy ingredient in my father's cinnamon-raisin bread. I now have a theory that all raisins actually should be golden...but....well, for the sake of my next bagel, let's not pursue that line of thinking.

After an amazing personal tour of the POM Wonderful factory, which was fascinating but decidedly bacon-free, we called the restaurant to make a reservation.

To find that none were available.

Apparently, bacon-fried rice is not a well-kept secret. You cannot imagine the disappointment after a 6-hour stop-and-go road trip that was only fueled by the scant scent of sizzling pork product. Instead, one of Richard's colleagues invited us to the Purple Potato. This place was not even on our navigation system, causing the car passengers to give a hard time to the driver, who shall remain nameless, for taking us to a place named after a food product the color of which could only be explained by large amounts of the same exhaust that covers the sweet raisins. AND, there was no bacon fried rice on the menu.

We did, begrudgingly, have to ultimately admit to Richard that the food at the Purple Potato was actually fantastic, and perhaps it lent credence to the rumor that the greater Fresno area does, in fact, have amazing gastronomic experiences to offer visitors.

Richard took me back to Fresno a few weeks later for the Christmas party for the POM Wonderful plant. We had a fabulous time, but I would like to point out that I still have yet to experience the make-me-drool-just-thinking-about-it bacon fried rice. I am starting to think it is just an urban legend. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The Holy Grail.

But Fresno is one gateway to Yellowstone and its natural wonders, so I will be back. And I have deliberately left the name of the restaurant out of this entry so that I can get a reservation next time. I'm not leaving until I can fully report back on the elusive, succulent, savory, glorious calorie-fest that is the stuff of fantasies that make surviving L.A. a little easier: bacon fried rice.