Surviving L.A. - Takes Fried Chicken

It's true, just ask the Obama team that had to conduct an impromptu sweep of the world famous Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles on one of the President's trips to L.A. After being assured no crazed bus boy had a plot for anything better than a bad B movie, Barack sampled the place that made the L.A. food scene before Asian Fusion Vegan Haute Cuisine ever became a thing.

We tried our first chicken and waffles recently. Not at Roscoe's (they have had huge lines even before Obama's endorsement), but at Wood and Vine. We can see the appeal. But if you prefer your chicken sans syrup, then you find the next big thing at the Los Angeles Fried Chicken Fest.

The first annual event, a fundraiser for anti-hunger organization Share our Strength, featured the latest take on a summer picnic staple. But this is L.A. people. We eschew the colonel. Popeye is soooo 1988. We use volcanic ash in our fried chicken, for pete's sake.

The featured chefs were:

Josef Centeno of Baco Mercat and Bar Ama

David LeFevre of M.B. Post

Mary Sue Milliken of Border Grill

Matt Molina of Mozza

Bryant Ng of the Spice Table

Jazz Singsanong of Jitlada

Marcel Vigneron and Haru Kishi of the Coop

Ricardo Zarate of Picca and Mo-Chica

The event was held in the empty space for a formerly large Japanese restaurant, which seemed like a strange place to nickname "The Coop" for the evening. The checkered tableclothes were rather our of place near the massive koi pond. Stations were set up throughout the property for sampling.

I think Matt Molina's take on the fried chicken with fried biscuit accompaniment (why not just throw the whole meal in the fryer?) was the group favorite of the night, though the fried curried chicken was a close second. There was a Peruvian dish, some Carribean nuggets and a Thai-inspired take on a Southern U.S. staple.

But by far the most unique 'how far will L.A. chefs go for the next big thing' was the Hot Lava Chicken. I happened to be there just as a new batch was being served....though it appeared to me to have been cooked too long. If you happened upon this dish anywhere else, you would think someone had formed charcoal to loosely resemble a chicken leg. The carefully placed sauce for presentation may have been the only clue that one should pick it up, look beyond the seemingly exceedingly charred exterior, and find tender chicken. The server offered the explanation that they used volcanic ash in the cooking to give it that look. Given that stories surrounding any volcanic eruption include reports on threats to food supplies, I do not believe her. But some secret spice concoction was used that gave the credibility to the idea that perhaps, at least, the chicken had perhaps lived a little to close to Eyjafjöll.

Check it....opening of a new chicken fast food joint near you....Mt. St. Marenzo (patron saint of cooking). Until then, we will have to survive L.A. with Roscoe's....maybe the President will join us again.

Surviving L.A. - is an Exercise

An exercise in insanity, maybe. Because every other billboard, TV ad, Groupon and airplane-dragged banner is hawking something designed to remind you that to make it with the beautiful people in L.A. - you have to be willing to put in the effort. You can buy the laser sculpting or you can sculpt the muscles the old fashioned way.......sweating to the oldies. (Which you can do on occasion with the legend himself, Richard Simmons, on a random Tuesday or Thursday at class at his Beverly Hills Studio. http://www.richardsimmons.com/j15/index.php?option=com_jcalpro&Itemid=137&extmode=flat)

But this is L.A. - home of muscle beach, inspiration for roller blading and the birth place of the thigh master. We try what's new. What's cutting edge. The next big secret to 2% body fat and a red carpet body in just 8 minutes a day.

As you know, I am embracing L.A. But while I like - well, real food - too much to do the latest 'proprietary blend' 20-day raw juice cleanse, I am willing to turn to my inner cardio queen and give some of the new ideas in workouts a try.

I'm not talking pole dancing.....that's so 2008. After all, Santa Monica is the home of the first Cirque De Soleil show in the United States. Future performers - and the delusional among us - can take classes in high-flying arts like the trapeze and slick, colorful silk panels that make you cry for the 'easy' days of your 5th grade gym class rope climb. I loved it! No worries mom, despite the best efforts of the graceful instructor, I lack any skill to run off and join the circus.

Willing to watch me make fun of myself for my birthday, my dear friend Kim bought me a gift card for a dance cardio class and then talked me into the Hip Hop Dance Class. Of course we have hip hop dance classes...what else do you think the Fly Girls are doing until the In Living Color reunion show? It took us one hour to learn a 15-second hip hop routine that proves I am, in fact, too old to consider a second career as a Laker Girl.

It was a really good workout for me, but I am not looking for a weekly reminder that I do not, in fact, got the moves like Jagger. So another friend had an excellent alternative - do all the traditional exercises you have known for years. Let's just find a way to make it harder. Do it on 1970s-space-movie-inspired-prop-boot-gone-crazy shoes - it's called Kangoo. Once you master walking on the single-leg trampolines, you go through your basic cardio moves from jogging to jumping jacks to Jane Fonda-inspired aerobics. http://bouncevenice.wordpress.com/

Perhaps the genius of Kangoo is that it serves a dual purpose. Your quest for firm glutes take you onto the exercise trail running from Malibu to Manhattan Beach. So your very location helps you do double duty as extras in the entertainment capital of the world, providing a great deal of gawks and head-shaking laughs for the tourists. I try not to think about how many bad vacation photo albums I now appear in.

But if you really want to do challenge yourself, you have to turn up the heat. It may stay a cool 72-degrees year round in southern California year round (which is a lie, but that is for another column) but you can have the hottest workout around at Fire Groove, where in 12 1-hour lessons you too can swing flaming balls around your head for the entertainment of others. (I'll start booking for weddings and birthday parties in August.) It turns out there are multiple ways you can 'dance' with fire. Kim and I (I am starting to see a pattern with her!) tried Poi Fire Dancing, which is supposed to be a graceful swinging of ropes twirling beautiful flaming orbs around your body to music.


Thankfully, instruction was conducted with socks stuffed with weighted balls....slightly less painful to the temples while learning butterfly wings and angel wings and a move that should be renamed "the black eye" for it's ultimate accomplishment. I am going to use the word dance very lightly, as I truly felt like my moves were more defensive...standing as still as possible or moving as quickly as possible to avoid being smacked in the head - again. I will definitely say that Poi dancing got my heart rate up....though I think it was more out of fear than any cardio effort.

Next, Kim and I are going to learn to paddle board in Malibu. Just in time for prime whale migration season. I think it might be safer.

As Missing Persons sang "Nobody walks in L.A." - but we are willing to try just about anything else in the name of fitness. It's how you Survive L.A.

Surviving L.A. - Takes Star Sightings

And sometimes, that's like shooting fish in a barrel. At least when Paley Fest is happening.

William Paley was the creator of CBS Network, and left a historical legacy in this town in the form of a TV museum and an annual event inviting program fans to spend an evening getting some behind the scenes information from their favorite cast members and creative talent behind the show. In a special Monday edition of Date Night, I surprised Richard with an intimate evening with the cast of one of his favorite shows: Two and a Half Men.

The evening opened with an introduction of the show's creator - the same genius behind Two Broke Girls and Big Bang Theory - Chuck Lorre. In his introduction the moderator, L.A. chief for TV guide Magazine (aka, L.A.'s Bible) Mike Schneider, showed a cover that featured Lorre when he was inducted into the TV hall of fame. Lorre blushed like a starlette showing up on the red carpet wearing the same dress as Jennifer Lopez....he was wearing the same outfit as he had on in the picture. Clearly, the man needs more money for clothes.

Lorre introduced a screening of next Monday's episode, which has an ending that....as soon as you see it coming....will make you forget all about what's-his-name Sheen and realize the writer's have too.

After the audience stopped cringing at the final scene and remembered to clap, the moderator introduced the cast - pretty much everyone. Paley Fest tickets come with the disclaimer that they make no guarantees about any individual's participation, but the cast seems genuinely thankful that so many fans stuck with it through what most people in and outside of L.A. saw as the show's untimely death at the hands of an out-of-control leading man. So in addition to Lorre, we were graced with the presence of Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, Angus T. Jones, Holland Taylor, Conchata Ferrell and co-creator Lee Aronson.

For more than an hour the panel discussed the show with questions from the modertor and the audience on everything from character growth to returning guest stars to Jake finally graduating high school to Ashton's prosthetic penis.

We got a small sneak peek or two to some upcoming features, but no big spoliers as the show has not technically been picked up for next season. Paley Fest is a highly entertaining, behind-the-scenes look into the people who entertain us. If you are ever in L.A. in the spring, I highly recommend it.

Now, I will not close without quoting Aston when he pleaded last night "please give some context to the penis." If you watch the show you know that the Walden character is known for being well-endowed and fond of, or at least not shy about, going au naturale. However, the show is taped in front of a live audience and one is not allowed to do full nudity in that setting. Ashton mentioned - to the apparent shock of his co-stars - that he had just the thing to take care of this problem, a prosthetic. Why exactly someone can wear a prosthic fallic device but not prance in the nude is beyond me, but this appears to be the case. So, for the pleasure of the live audience, Ashton donned the device and gave new meaning to Two and a Half Men.

I will leave you, dear readers, with questions to ponder. What college degree qualifies one to create or fix a prosthetic penis (it apparently needed to undergo some delicate repairs), and are you ready to make a move to this career field? Never mind asking the question as to why Ashton had one conveniently in his car to begin with.

We continue to survive L.A. - highly entertained.

Surviving L.A. - takes good news reporting

"No News is Good News"

That phrase takes on a new meaning for me after having lived in L.A. for more than 4 years. Trying to keep up with the important things affecting our lives - Health Care Reform, state and federal elections, the Arab Spring - are really hard here when Charlie Sheen just won't behave, Kobe Bryant's ex-wife is only getting three mansions in the divorce settlement and the porn industry is threatening to pull out of Southern California. I have found that in L.A. No news outlet is good news reporting.

Now, I understand I live in the entertainment capital of the world and therefore "the Industry" will dominate the local news since the majority of the people here make their livelihoods directly or tangentially from it. That does not mean I need the evening news to report who got voted off Dancing with the Stars. It's often hard to tell the difference between the 5 o'clock news and TMZ, or the Los Angeles Times and People magazine. But, clearly, there are people here who do think Jennifer Anniston's every move is fascinating...and their not stalkers, just subscribers.

Avoiding entertainment news in most cities is as easy as tossing that section of the Sunday paper in the recycling bin. In L.A. it is pervasive....even beyond the legal pages discussing Lindsay Lohan's latest court appearance. The Sports section includes non-athlete celebrity activities at sporting events. The Home Listings page has special spotlights on celebrity homes for sale. Currently, if you are in the market, Paula Abdul's Sherman Oaks home is on the market for $1.899 million, Ryan Reynolds is selling the home he bought with Scarlette Johansson, and a house once leased by Brittany Spears is ready for new occupants as well. Paparazzi do not convey.

Now, the news media is only giving the public what they demand, right? So what does it say about my fellow SoCal inhabitants that the Most Viewed news story on the L.A. Times website in November was "The best wine to serve with Thanksgiving Turkey"?

But there is a news story that finally, after 4 years, gives me cause to write this particular installment of surviving L.A. The news first broke back in November: a rock is making its way toward L.A.

The viewers are rapt. Was the movie Armegeddon really a prophecy coming true? Could Bruce Willis come to our rescue yet again? (Oh wait, he died in the first movie.) What can we do? The media keeps us glued to the TV daily following the trajectory and the timeline....which is turns out is very slow.

And the only danger we are in is being offended by another's taste in art.

Today's update from the L.A. Times - because I can't make this stuff up:
"Sunday night marked the fifth night of travel for the Los Angeles County Museum of Art’s “big rock,” as it’s been dubbed. The 340-ton, near-two story high granite boulder, now well on its way to the museum to become the focal point of artist Michael Heizer’s landmark sculpture “Levitated Mass,” is now a seasoned veteran of the SoCal roads."

And it's critical that you know: "It was given the night off Saturday, but continued its trek Sunday night."

Tantalized? Check out the websites for our local TV stations. You can see the live reports from the rock's location. The L.A. Times has a route tracker. Because traffic here isn't bad enough. http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-heizer-rock-map-20111123-i,0,5739628.htmlstory

So I ask you - nay, beg you - to send me news of the outside world. Because if there is an actual asteroid headed for earth, I'd like to know. It's the only way we will continue to Survive L.A.

Still Surviving L.A.

We'd like to take this opportunity to dispel the cruel rumors spread across unsavory tabloids and unscrupulous blogs - we are, in fact, still surviving L.A.!

Like a good HBO series, there was a nice hiatus for the Surviving L.A. series. I know it was quite a cliff hanger, keeping you wondering if contract negotiations or a writer's strike had taken us the way of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (Still bitter). But I am pleased to say we are still going strong, just in some reruns as to the more exciting highlights of our first three years here - Magic Castle, Magic Mountain and Richard's magical ability to know that we have run into someone famous, but not know who they actually are. (For the record, the three most recent sightings were Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Chelsea Handler and Marky Mark sans funky bunch.)

But a lot has happened in the last 18 months and we're putting together a new list of fun local activities to try - come visit and join in some of them! AJ's learning to dance with fire, Vega's been checking out the waterfalls in Los Angeles and Richard's new job now has him as CIO of 2 wineries.....how bad can that be?

Like a series that has been going long and strong and needs a new character in the mix, we may be making a liberal interpretation of the term "Greater Los Angeles Area" in lieu of adding a new cute kid - but I hope the adventures will be good into this season as in the past to enthrall the 3 readers who have mentioned missing this blog.

Surviving L.A. - Takes an Accomplice!

Many of you may have willingly or unwillingly been involved in a Mystery Dinner Theater show. Admittedly, these events run the gamit on quality - from the actors to the script quality to the other participants. And, lest we forget, the quality of the food.

Taking the basic idea of an interactive story experience out of the rubber chicken circuit is a group of innovators who started on the streets of New York, enlisting participants as active sleuths while guiding them through a series of locations in search of clues hidden in and around businesses in New York leading to the solution to a mystery. I thank my friend Suzanne for giving the thumbs up to the NY experience, prompting L.A. visitors Diana and Otto to suggest we take in the West Coast installment: Accomplice Hollywood.

accomplicetheshow.com

I am not going to give away the plot exactly, but this will have some spoilers in it. So if you think you might ever do this - which I do recommend - you might want to avoid my spoilers below.

The show experience starts a few days prior, when you are asked to watch a video online and you get a call explaining where you should meet to start the experience. We started ours at a famous landmark on Hollywood Boulevard. We had a great group of 8 people, everyone at least semi-willing to participate and work together on the clues.

We moved from clue to clue, taking in different sites on Hollywood Boulevard and meeting some accomplices along the way.

******SPOILER ALERT!!********

You are helped between some of the locations and clues by actors you encounter spread out among the various businesses willing to let the production set up there. Two sites were restaurants in which it was pretty easy to identify our target...they were waiting in a corner with cold beer and water for the group. (Big thumbs up for the refreshment, just wish they would have had wine too!) In other places, it was much more difficult. One of the more hilarious situations was the clue in which we had to find a character in Hollywood Blvd.

This challenge actually ended up being for the actor.

Hollywood Blvd. between Mann's Chinese theater and the Hollywood Highland Center used to be crawling with various people dressed as all manner of movie and TV characters (and some just in really bad Halloween costumes) who, for a suggested $2 tip, will pose with you for your family photo. A few weeks ago, police cracked down on these folks for panhandling. Having a storyline that includes one of these characters suddenly got very, very risky. He also tends to stand out, making him easy to find. But I felt enormously sad for the actor in that heavy costume and mask outfit standing in the sun all weekend, while his co-stars hung out in bars with beer!

By the end of the experience you are starting to look at everyone on the street and wonder if they are part of it. We will never walk on Hollywood Blvd. and see a group of tourists closely examining the words written on the walk in the Hollywood Highland Center and not feel the urge to go over and thrown them off the scent!

*****END OF SPOILERS*****

My only complaint about the production (other than the lack of wine as a beverage option!) was that the story and clues did not have much of a focus on the history of the area. The show could have given us a better tour of the area; I would have appreciated knowing more about the places we visited and walked past.

Otherwise, I had I good enough time I would do the NY show as well (they have multiple options there).

So, we continue to survive Los Angeles - with accomplices to help!

Surviving L.A. - Takes Ellen!

One of the unique opportunities that Los Angeles affords is the opportunity to watch a live filming of a TV show. I've been wanting specifically to see the Ellen Degeneres Show because I think Ellen is hilarious and I love her work for animals and her emphasis on what people who come on her show do for social programs. I also appreciate that she features some regular people on her show who have done amazing things in their own life, and not just celebrities.

The show airing Monday, March 22 features Pierce Brosnon (the stuff my late-night dreams are made of! - I know, I know...he'll always be Remmington Steele to me!) and the ever classy and hysterical Betty White.

As an experience, it was not what I expected. Ellen tapes at Warner Brothers Studio, and many days she tapes 2 shows a day. Leslie and I had tickets for the 'late' show, which required us to be at Warner Brothers Studios at 3:30 p.m. The check-in and staging area is...the parking garage. They have a large area with benches and some TVs on the wall and two stalls for check-in....one for tickets holders and one for those who do not have tickets but are hoping for empty seats.

Note: we are under the impression from the process that if you order tickets and do not show up, you end up on a naughty list with no hope of future tickets! Tickets are difficult to get - but can be had at ellen.warnerbrothers.com

I had been told by many people to wear bright, solid colors for good seating selection (camera people like colorful backgrounds). That did not appear to ultimately matter here. There were some VIPs who were seated front and center, and then everyone else was given a number as they checked in and that's how you were seated, for the most part. We were among the last to show up (though still on time before 3:30) and got numbers 180-181. After the check-in process was completed we were basically going to sit the the area in the parking garage for 90 minutes. They did show some of Ellen's current shows on the TVs. This is also when they circulated through the audience and apparently selected some people who were going to participate in a game during the show.

At nearly 5 p.m., they started the seating. For the next hour, I felt I was back in kindergarten. They made us line up in corrals by number, and then we were told to wait until someone came and walked us across the street. (Stay in line. No one go until I say 'cross'! Now stand against the wall.)

Once inside the studio the line weaved through the "Ellen" store, open for your Ellen needs. When Leslie and I got into the seating area we could see that it was mostly full and seemed destined for the last 2 rows. Admittedly, the whole sound stage is smaller than it appears on TV, but we had still hoped for better seats. Fortunately, as a party of two, our bodies were needed to fill empty seats in the third row. (We are on the extreme right side if you are looking at the audience from the stage.)

An 'MC' came out onto the stage for our 'warm-up' which consisted of him attempting to lead us through basic moves at our seats. 'Use your right arm, now your left arm, now clap, now sway side-to-side.' He also goes over the rules "no catcalls for Betty White, now!" and reminds us that we are to pretend that it is Monday. Apparently, that means I've seen the future. At least on the Ellen show, Monday is funny.

This cross between romper room and aerobics at a senior center lasts for an hour, during which time the crew is putting cameras in place and the show's DJ, Tony, sets up his playlist. I can't imagine what the crew must think, watching a goofy crowd of mostly women trying to get down to Michael Jackson tunes in the confines of their 2x2 seat space. I wonder if it was listed as a perk on the job announcement.

At 5 minutes until 6 o'clock we are asked to sit, and clap. Incessantly. They wanted clapping for what feels like a good 45 seconds in and out of every commercial, before we are even entertained. I thought that's what laugh tracks were for.

Promptly at 6 o'clock they announce the Ellen Degeneres Show and the moment we have been waiting for since 3:30 (some much longer) arrives. Ellen herself steps on to the stage and welcomes us all there.....to at least 2 minutes of clapping. If you have ever seen her show, you know she opens with a monologue. I am guessing they must film these most every day - but the day the show airs so that it will be topical, because we did not get one. Instead, she launched into the opening segments of her show, which for us included two women in Orange (as in the fruit) outfits competing for a trip to Florida. This is one of my least favorite parts of the show, but it illuminated something special for me about Ellen. She's quick.

It's one thing to be a stand-up comedienne and deliver a scripted punch-line. Improv is a whole other beast and Ellen would be very good at it. Her ability to react with a witty line to any situation was fantastic. There were no cuts, no second takes on her show.

After the game she moved to the interview area to bring out her guests. Pierce came first. Something a guest at a TV show taping must remember is that you are there to provide a service to the show....background that claps for as long as it is told to and laughs at the appropriate moments. The show is done for the television audience, not you. Unless you are seated in the center of the audience, there is a good chance your view of one of the Hottest Men in entertainment will be instead of the back of Randy, the cameraman. To my left was a TV for me to view what the camera was seeing, but really this is just as I am going to watch it at home...on a nice big TV (and the ability to have a bathroom break during the commercials if I need it, something not allowed on Ellen).

Betty White provided a hilarious interview, as expected, again watched on the TV screen to my left. The segments were separated by commercial time, at which point Ellen and her guest might get make-up re-touched and the upcoming scene is prepped for. But it is all in "real time."

At 6:45, Ellen is wrapping up the show. I am guessing that leaves time for the monologue to be filled in later. But it is an efficient machine, with no breaks or re-takes. Impressive. If anything comes out drastically different when the show airs, I'll post again.

Immediately following the show, Ellen takes the mic and thanks us, then cruises out of the studio. We were waiting in line with the crossing guards when we saw her drive by on her way home.

In all a fantastic experience. We even won Shell Gas giftcards and got a CD from the musical guest.

Ellen's motto is Live. Laugh. Dance. And it is helping us Survive L.A.